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its funny now not s much then 12/6/2015
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 Comments, 98 Views,
21 Votes
,2.14 Score
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wife joke 10/30/2015
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband
is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but
warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her
to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night,
she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the
doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great!
I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...
14 Comments, 453 Views,
41 Votes
,6.76 Score
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BBQ time 10/30/2015
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt
is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances
towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's
wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really
think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one
little weenie?"
5 Comments, 225 Views,
22 Votes
,5.77 Score
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Always use condoms? 10/29/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Always use condoms? 10/29/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 8/22/2015
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Karma 8/20/2015
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 Comments, 236 Views,
26 Votes
,5.40 Score
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I Forget Stuff Sometimes 8/15/2015
I looked up at my ceiling the other day and as I was laying
there I saw what I thought to be a sliver of paint on it. I didn't
pay it any attention but I noticed that it had some limbs.
So obviously it's a bug. I grab the bug spray and down
it goes. I quickly picked it up off the floor and flush it
in the toilet. Moments later i get a knock at the door. So
I quickly answer the door as I am ...
0 Comments, 220 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score
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The Successful 8/3/2015
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 Comments, 229 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score
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Listen up 7/15/2015
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 Comments, 304 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score
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gossipers!!! 6/15/2015
Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor
of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into
other people's business. Several members did not
approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared
her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member,
Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
39 Votes
,6.82 Score
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Fucked up families 6/4/2015
There's a story in one of the Charles Town, Wes Virginiay
news about a brother and sister who went to their sons High
School graduation because all three graduated on the same
day in 2008. The really weird thing is that he has several profiles on
this and other sites and uses a photo of him with his sister
taken at the Graduation Party in 2008. Now that is really fucked up!!!
...
0 Comments, 64 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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my first romance 5/28/2015
haii friends, this is my real experience in my life.once
my Aunty's came to my house for spend her holidays.she
was very beautiful and sexy.I loved her so much.one day
night do small fighting between she and her mom.then she
get nervous feeling. and she come to my bed beside of me.then
time is gone.then I put my hand at her PUSSY.then she shifted
her face beside of my face, and she give a small ...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
7 Votes
,2.28 Score
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Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much... 4/15/2015
I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing;
while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something
naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date.
Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version.
It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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For Fun 3/15/2015
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score
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My Date From Hell! 2/18/2015
Written by: KyCre8iveGuy
NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD
AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S
THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!
I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old,
had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of
a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through
personal emails. Eventually, we ...
6 Comments, 297 Views,
39 Votes
,4.62 Score
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IRONY 1/13/2015
Isn't it Ironic that this page is blank, can one surmise
from that that there is nothing funny about sex? from my
experience it can't be so, many a gut splitting laugh
has come out of the absurd situation we sometimes find ourselves
in in the pursuit of sex.
0 Comments, 35 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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Dead Roses! 11/21/2014
On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife
a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought
that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for
flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring
them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase
with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and
they looked a little bit better but still looked ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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A Realization After Sex 11/13/2014
So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She
started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms
so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget
the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!
We were tearing each other's clothes off like they
were on fire!
She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling
like I was trying to ...
3 Comments, 231 Views,
18 Votes
,3.26 Score
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Funny 11/12/2014
Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet?
There's nothing funny about it the next morning.
18 Comments, 133 Views,
29 Votes
,5.25 Score
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Testimonials 11/7/2014
If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile
or do you sometimes hide them?
5 Comments, 67 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Going 10/31/2014
Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use
to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.
11 Comments, 126 Views,
24 Votes
,6.20 Score
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Humor 10/21/2014
We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch
them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what
people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those
of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple
profiles. It isn't.
9 Comments, 90 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score
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Funny? 10/15/2014
If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other
sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first
then I'll know you're just being funny.
9 Comments, 108 Views,
25 Votes
,6.56 Score
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Understanding Women 10/1/2014
A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings (as taken
from an interview with a woman)
FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which
we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine'
to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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Understanding Men 10/1/2014
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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When Alice Went Deer Hunting 10/1/2014
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down
to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about ...
2 Comments, 200 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Hard Liquor... 9/20/2014
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Comments, 279 Views,
25 Votes
,6.67 Score
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Lunch would be ready...... 9/15/2014
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds
and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,
sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation,
erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell,
and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...
2 Comments, 247 Views,
21 Votes
,6.84 Score
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Three kinds of each... 9/6/2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman
goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like
pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes.
You see them and they make you cry." This ...
3 Comments, 157 Views,
20 Votes
,4.91 Score
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